Thinkin' Lincoln Characters

Maybe sometimes you read Thinkin' Lincoln and you see a dude there but you missed when that dude got introduced so you are kind of like who is that dude? If that's your case, well I can help! Here's the "main" characters for your very reference. I say "main" in "scare quotes" because there are "like" a "hundred" of "them" or "something" whatever I didn't go to Counting College so get off my back.

Abe Lincoln

Abe Lincoln

Abe Lincoln is the 16th president of the United States. I bet you've heard of this dude. He's in basically all the comics, so I mean, you can probably figure it out.

George Washington

George Washington

George Washington is the first president of the USA and like a Founding Father and he was a sweet general when we kicked England's butt so we could be our own country. He's kind of a jerk though.

Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II of the UK is the current Queen of the UK and also like 40 countries that are still like British colonies kind of but not really but they have her face on their money. She is like the only character who is still alive and in my comic. Pretty much.

Josť de San Martin

José de San Martin

José is the dude basically responsible for the liberation of Argentina and some other South American places from Spanish colonial rule, basically like an Argentinian George Washington. He's even on their money down there.

Charles Darwin

Charles Darwin

Charles Darwin is the main dude who invented evolution. He was all like "STEP OFF LAMARCK! WHA-CHA!" A lot of people were pissed about this because of religion, but nowadays scientists are all over this evolution thing. Some religion guys are still pretty mad but a lot are like "well OK but God made evolution" so I guess that's a thing.

Punxsutawney Phil

Punxsutawney Phil

Punxsutawney Phil is hard to spell and ALSO is a groundhog from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania who is like the official groundhog who sees or doesn't see his shadow every year. Also he was in Groundhog Day which is an awesome movie. The actual groundhog probably dies like all the time and they have to get a new one but who can tell because I mean it's a friggin' groundhog.

Grigori Rasputin

Grigori Rasputin

Rasputin is a famous Russian dude who was like a religious dude who was real popular with the ladies including the Czar's wife and long story short they killed him. But the sweet thing is that according to legend, they had to kill him like 5 times. I think the story goes that they poisoned him and then they shot him and then they whomped him in the head with like a candlestick and then they I don't know might have stabbed him and then eventually they stuck him in a sack and tossed him in a real cold river and he was all fighting it and struggling but then he died.

Zombie Mark Twain

Zombie Mark Twain

Mark Twain is a famous American author and satirist and all around cool dude. BUT THEN HE CAME BACK AS A RAVENOUS ZOMBIE. He is pretty much the same.

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart is a lady airplane pilot who I think she like tried to fly around the world but partway through her plane disappeared and she was never seen again. She really appreciates that everyone calls her a lady airplane pilot instead of just an airplane pilot. Anyway she likes comic books and she is good at computers.

Young Martha Washington

Young Martha Washington

Young Martha Washington is George Washington's wife, except when she was young. She wields a mean umbrella. For some reason, she is Abe's love interest. But she is also her own woman OK!!

Emperor Norton

Emperor Norton

Emperor Norton is a crazy dude from San Francisco around the same time as Lincoln was doin' his thing. Norton decided that he was the Emperor of the US and started issuing decrees and printing his own money and the people in San Francisco thought that was pretty kick-flippin' so they followed his decrees (sometimes) and accepted his money and basically kind of made it that he sort of was an Emperor? Only not really. He was pretty awesome either way. Fun fact: his middle name is Abraham.

Theodore Mewsevelt

Theodore Mewsevelt

Mewsevelt is Abe Lincoln's cat. He is a cat with Teddy Roosevelt's face. For some reason. I think he's pretty totally cute and not even a little creepy but we can let the comics speak for themselves: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Ichlor

Ichlor

Ichlor is the Fishy Fish God of Fish. All comics have to have a God (so you can make religion jokes) and Ichlor was the most affordable option.

El Tiburablo

El Tiburablo

So if Iclor is the God, El Tiburablo is the devil. "El Tiburablo" is a Spanish word I made up that combines "tiburón" which I am pretty sure means shark and "diablo" which I am pretty sure means devil. I am pretty proud that I made up a word in Spanish. Anyway, El Tiburablo is pretty tempting don't you think.

Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe is an American author and poet who wrote creepy stories and poems and married his cousin and then died of one of those old timey diseases in a poor man's gutter. Actually, nobody is really sure what was up with his death. Anyway he likes ravens a bunch.

Martin Van Buren

Martin Van Buren

Martin Van Buren is the 8th president of the US and I don't blame you if you don't know anything about him. He is from New York and he's Dutch and he was Andrew Jackson's vice president and successor. He was a pretty sucky president. My sister's ex-husband is kind of related to him I think? Gross.

William Howard Taft

William Howard Taft

William Howard Taft is the 27th US president and is primarily remembered for being "the fat one." Dude was pretty fat. He was pretty good president I guess, and later became Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. But seriously though, like over 350 pounds, which I think is pretty close to a metric tonne but I don't know metric so whatever.

Hannibal Hamlin

Hannibal Hamlin

Hannibal Hamlin was Lincoln's first vice president. That... that's pretty much it.

Ludwig van Beethoven

Ludwig van Beethoven

Ludwig van Beethoven is a German composer who wrote a bunch of songs you'd probably recognize but you wouldn't know what they were called. Towards the end of his life he went mostly deaf but he still wrote a ton. Also there was a movie named after him but it was actually about a dog. (I fell for this trick.)

Skeleton Shakespeare

Skeleton Shakespeare

In life, Shakespeare was a rockin' playwright who had a way with words and the ladies. In unlife, he is a dude with some problems.

Crocodile with a Beard

Crocodile with a Beard

Also known as Dr. Love or Dr. C.W.A.B Love, Crocodile with a Beard is a crocodile. Yeah, he has a beard. Also he is the doctor of love. Which I guess involves voodoo powers. He's not anybody real from history, but he does have a pretty good origin story in three parts.

Nikola Tesla

Nikola Tesla

Nikola Tesla was a Serbian-American inventor who was so crazy and awesome. He invented hella inventions such as AC power, the radio kinda, and also I think like that coil where you spin it around a magnet and it makes electricity. He and Thomas Edison were big enemies. So eventually he died and now he is a being of pure energy who is omnipresent basically.

Ernest Shackleton

Ernest Shackleton

Ernest Shackleton is the famed hard-ass of exploring. Dude explored all kinds of frigid wastelands of the Earth and is known for one time when he rescued his dudes from dying of ice and killer whales in the face of SO much adversity and penguins. Dude is pretty much inexorable and you just better HOPE you aren't getting in his way. Also I guess he is Lincoln's boss at the job he sometimes has?

Secretariat

Secretariat

Secretariat was a racehorse. I think he won a bunch of races? Some people say he was the best ever racehorse alive. But then, as is the horse's wont, he died. This is the way of all horses, I'm afraid. So now he is kind of an unfriendly acquaintance of Abe's. So that's awkward.

Vampire Charles Dickens

Vampire Charles Dickens

Vampire Charles Dickens is Charles Dickens except a vampire. This is not rocket science, people. (It is vampire science. Vampirology. Or maybe necromancy.) He and Abe do no always get along.

Otto von Bismarck

Otto von Bismarck

Otto von Bismarck used to be the Chancellor of Prussia, or something. He's basically the main dude who invented dirty politics, and boy is he a big pile of jerk-face. Dude would impale a hundred puppies on a spike if it served his purposes.

Still confused? Maybe you were wondering about someone I left out here? Why not try a search!